Third Pillar
Accompaniment
“Behold the Lamb of God!”
John 2:36
Friends of the Bridegroom walk with women, pointing out the voice of the Bridegroom. In Jesus’ time, the Wedding Feast was preceded by a Betrothal Ceremony, after which came a period of preparation. While the Bridegroom went to prepare the Wedding Chamber in the house of his Father, he would ask a trusted Friend, the shoshben, to help prepare the details of the Wedding Ceremony. During the time of preparation, the Friend of the Bridegroom would vigilantly protect the Bride from false suitors and the distractions of the world. In his solicitude, he would also help stir her love for the Bridegroom and keep her attention fixed on the Wedding Feast to come.
We know that the Lord has not stopped calling women to himself in consecrated life. We joyfully anticipate the abundance of women that will begin to come forward as we labor to foster awareness of and encounter with women religious in the life of the Church.
Knowing that the modern young adult woman needs significant support to discern and then prepare to enter religious life, Friends of the Bridegroom help her to feel supported and cared for as she seeks to follow the Bridegroom. This means doing what you can, in your area to help connect and form a network of people to support and accompany young women in discernment.
Forming a Network of Mentors for Women in Discernment
Knowing that young women will need someone with her on the journey, it is helpful to have a sense of where you can direct her. We recommend creating a list of people you trust in your area to serve as spiritual directors and mentors to these women.
Ever woman’s needs in the area of accompaniment are unique. Some women need basic formation in cultivating a life of prayer and would be well-served by a mentor willing to accompany her through this stage of discipleship. Others may have an established life of prayer and need support in a later stage of discernment from a well-formed spiritual director. It is helpful to have a sense of men and women that fall somewhere along that spectrum, from mentors in discipleship to trained spiritual directors. Then your cohort can serve as a bridge between a woman searching for accompaniment and a mentor with the capacity to walk with her.
As a cohort, you simply need to identify potential members, inform them of the desired commitment, and form them to serve young women open to discernment.
Identifying Potential Mentors:
Who are the men and women who are already equipped to accompany women in vocational discernment? Consider those with prior formation in accompaniment/discipleship (i.e. priests, missionaries, lay ministers, etc)
Interested and available- ask about their willingness and availability? Do they have the capacity to walk with someone consistently?
Informing Mentors
Set mentors up for success with a clear invitation and vision. This could include an initial 6 month commitment to regular 1:1 meetings.
Make sure you have shared expectations of what accompaniment is and have a clear sense of what their experience level is. Some are comfortable with basic discipleship and prayer accountability, and other spiritual directors have received formation to feel more comfortable helping women walk through later stages of discernment.
Share the CMSWR Vocation Directory with them,
Inform them
Precursory work: Problem and a Paradigm, read Dubay and MMF Brideship.
Share with them CMSWR voc directory, explain role of VD and the goal of handoff or conclusion of discernment
Forming Mentors:
Equip your mentors with a vibrant understanding of women’s consecrated life. They could start by working through the resources on this website (especially “A Problem and a Paradigm”). Several books are also particularly helpful:
“My Beloved is Mine and I am His” by Mother Mary Francis, P.C.C.
“And You are Christ’s” by Thomas Dubay, S.M.
Spiritual Direction: A Guide for Sharing the Father's Love by Fr. Thomas Acklin, O.S.B. and Fr. Boniface Hicks, O.S.B.
The CMSWR Vocations Directory is an excellent resource for finding community contacts. Mentors should keep in mind that as a woman’s discernment unfolds, she will eventually be walking with a Vocation Director from a particular community.
Additional Resources
Engaging a Healing Journey
In order to make a free gift of our life to another, we must first grow in self-knowledge and attend to areas of unhealed wounds. As a woman moves toward religious life, she is likely to encounter wounded places in her story that deserve kindness and care.
The John Paul II Healing Center has many rich resources for this journey, along with many others they have compiled here.
Mary and Elizabeth
Mary and Elizabeth is a Memphis-based apostolate serving the needs of women throughout the country, especially through 1:1 accompaniment.
Formation for Priests
Priests who are Friends of the Bridegroom strive to live in intimate friendship with the Divine Bridegroom and to help Him awaken the Heart of the Bride to her beauty and final calling. This often unfolds through spiritual direction and vocational accompaniment.
To assist you in your ministry as a Friend of the Bridegroom, we have resources to support you. This includes original video teachings from women religious specifically tailored for you.
Milwaukee Contact
If you are in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee and desire accompaniment in your own discernment, please contact us at vocations@renewreligious.org. We will be in touch!
You can also find more information about any upcoming events in the are here.